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Posts Tagged ‘peace’

The danger of worry.

My mom said something to me the other day that spoke power into my life. I was sharing my health worries with her.
I have a lot of worries. I realized that there is always something that is plaguing my mind, there is always a disaster about to happen or a disease I think I have. In this case I was worried about my pregnancy. (yes! I haven’t shared it yet, but I am 4 months pregnant).
Something was going on and I wasn’t sure if it was normal or not. I was so overly stressed and anxious about it, to the point where I was probably creating a real problem. So I was sharing this particular worry with her and she all of a sudden loudly proclaims that this baby is fine, I am fine, and in Jesus name Satan begone! I wouldn’t call my mom a prophet or a healer, but I think in this moment she was both. God was speaking right through her to me. Tears starting flowing and I immediately felt fine. A rush of peace swept over me and I could feel my burden being lifted. Since then I have had worries, but the stress and heaviness of the worries haven’t been the same. I’m trying to remember that I am not in control, and I need to trust that God is there in all His sovereignty. Worry will only create problems and place my focus in the wrong direction.
Although, I still find it difficult to know when to go to the doctor. After all, just about every symptom points to either gas or cancer.

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I think a lot about my time in Florida. It was only about 13 months long. One day it will feel Just like one long deep breath.  My feelings for Florida drift from hatred, to love, to a sort of strange peacefulness. I remember when we decided we would move there. Everyone had something to say about it. Of course, my family didn’t want us to go. Customers at work only told me the negative experiences they had, so naturally I would have one too. There were some people who were supportive despite their feelings, and some people who didn’t know me at all who were trying to have a say in this decision. The whole thing was complicated so when someone asked why we were moving there I gave them about a thousand different answers, depending on which one I felt was more like the reason that day. But when I simplify it all into one, the answer is that it was a part of our journey that had to be done whether we wanted to do it or not.

Looking back (which Micah and I do all the time), I can tell you that our time in Florida was a dark time. But I have always been a firm believer in going through the valley and the storm to get to the mountain top. Now I can see a bigger part of the picture so now I understand so many things about what we went through. I think God had it planned all along for us to move to Texas. I think He knew I wouldn’t want to go if I wasn’t desperate. Now, I am thankful for Florida because I know that it allowed our move to Texas to be a sweet one. There are a lot of reasons that I am thankful for Florida, and I know that in due time it will all be revealed.

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