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Posts Tagged ‘parenthood’

Thank you, for reminding me of the kind of parent I don’t want to be. If you don’t remember how it went down, let me refresh your memory.

Your children run into the park dressed in fancy little Etsy clothes that I know cost about an arm and a leg each and they start playing. My child looks at all the excitement and wants to join in. I watch from where I stand. My child follows your kids into the little coop (where I have lost sight for about 10 seconds) and comes back out when I hear him growling. That, I know, is a sign that something has just happened that he doesn’t know how to deal with. So I make my way over to him calling his name. You both now enter the park and start walking towards your children as I am approaching and calling for my son. At this time, you decide it would be appropriate to stop and interrupt me.
“Um your kid is hitting
To which, in disbelief, I stare blankly back at you because 1 unless you have superman’s ability to see through walls (and I’m pretty sure you don’t), neither of us actually saw my son touch your children and 2 I didn’t see nor hear your children come to you about this so I’m trying to figure out how you knew he was “hitting”.  (must be that sharp mama paranoia…I mean instincts). So I respond the only way I know how, “ok” and I keep walking towards my son. Well, I try to keep walking but you stop me AGAIN to say,
“its just that if it was my kid I would want to know”.
my response is the same….. “ok”.
And I keep walking. Except now your friend decides to interrupt me this time and says in a lovely condescending tone,
its okaaaaaay we’ve all been there”.
I decide not to change my response since I can be kind of unpredictable in these situations and I simply say “OK” and I proceed to my child to talk about what just happened, except by now it would be what happened 5 minutes ago.
flip you off 2 2
Here’s the thing. We are both parents, right? I mean I would assume we are. You could be a highly involved baby sitter or a nanny, but I’m assuming you’re the parent. So I am just wondering what makes you think the best way to handle this situation is to essentially tattle on my child like you are the 3 year old. Obviously, your observation skills are lack luster because I’m hoping you didn’t really just interrupt me being a parent to tell me to go be a parent. But since your children didn’t say to my child, “please stop. I dont like that” and because they didn’t say to you “that kid just hit me”, and instead they just continued ignoring him like they were already doing I would have hoped to see you being a parent too. Why not walk over to your children to ask them what happened? Why not explain to them that when someone does something to you that you don’t like or something that hurts you or they touch you inappropriately that you should say to them “HEY please stop, I don’t like that!” Then if they don’t stop then they need to walk away and/or find mom or dad so they can help you. And maybe, just maybe it would be nice if you could talk to your child about why this other kid might be acting that way (though hitting, like actually hitting isn’t the right response). “Hey, child, that kid asked to play with you and you guys just ignored him like assholes. It’s ok to play with other kids when you are at the park *gasp* and it is ok to try to resolve your problems on your own first.”
But you know what, I think it’ll be better for them when they are all grown up working at their job and someone does something that upsets them and they ask you to get on a plane and fly 5 hours all the way to where they work so you can tell the boss someone wasn’t nice to them. That’ll go over real well.
…………
You kept pretty good track of my son after that (you know, because I was over in the parking lot trying to turn a trick) so naturally your precious little angel took his arm out and smacked my kid’s back.
I watched as you yelled in response, “we don’t hit, now sit down!” Cue your child getting up right away to play. You parent your children and I’ll parent mine.
 I guess I could have always said,
Excuse me, um, your kid is hitting.
I mean, you would want to know, right?
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It was a little over a year ago that we found out we were expecting. I remember looking at the pregnancy test, which was the millionth one I had taken, and staring at the two dashes that told me there was a baby growing inside me. Up until that point taking a pregnancy test always started out with this outrageous hope it would tell me some good news but it would always end with pure disappointment. Being pregnant was a dream I thought would never be reality.

 From being the size of a blueberry to a mini watermelon, the baby grew inside of me and I got to experience the ups and downs of growing a life. For someone who hates attention on her, I surprisingly loved every glance and turn of the head I received. I didn’t care if someone wanted to touch my belly or tell me how huge I looked. I loved every extra sample I got from costco (thanks baby!) and every cute maternity photo I got to take. It was bliss. Sure, the morning sickness wasn’t fun. I never thought I’d throw up on a plane, or yell at my husband to pull over in the middle of the road so I could expel the grape juice that had been so wonderful 30 minutes prior. I never expected I would hate meat or get to the point where I couldn’t see my toes. I certainly didn’t expect how hard it would be to slow down or let other people help me. What? move when you’re 9 months pregnant? Who would DO that!? Feeling the baby move inside me was UNreal and now I can hardly even remember it. The day we found out the baby’s gender felt like Christmas morning and learning it was a boy put us in shock. Walking out of the doctor’s office that day, my husband and I probably looked like we had seen a ghost. We planned for a girl, expected a girl, and knew her name. I remember seeing the ultrasound when the technician switched to the ‘gender reveal’ part and saying to her, “Is that a…is THAT A?!?!” And even though we didn’t expect it to be a boy we knew immediately what his name would be and we loved him for being a him. And everyone got to hear about how “my mother was right- AGAIN” (she told me she had a dream it was a boy and bought boy type things for him when I was only 10 weeks along). I took in every moment and took every chance I had to do what I had seen on pinterest. From a gender reveal party to that particular belly shot- I reveled in every moment.
We lived in our new house for a week when my water broke. The day before I had seen my midwife and she told me I was +2 which meant the baby was IN the birth canal. I called and texted my family telling them it could be any day now, even though I was only 38 weeks. That night my husband and I were just getting around to setting up the nursery and we hung up the baby’s clothes, assembled the crib (which we only JUST received a few days prior), and set up the changing table. I went to the bathroom and saw blood and my stomach dropped to the floor. Could this be it?! My husband and I joked that night that he shouldn’t even go into work the next day and he made me promise to call him the minute anything happened and I made him promise that when he received that call, he would drive SAFELY home (anyone else see that Grey’s Anatomy episode?!)
All this feels like forever ago and like yesterday all at once. Every day I get to see my boy grow and figure out this world just a little more. I look at him and I can not believe I am living my dream, and how blessed we are to have him in our lives. SO much has changed because this little bundle of joy was dropped in our laps- straight from heaven. I look at pictures and I can’t believe I was ever pregnant- it still feels like a dream.
The other day my dad sent me a text and said, “Every time I pass Eli’s picture on the fridge I rub his nose”. And it is a moment like that when I am even more grateful for this phase of life we are in. When I get to see how sweet my parents are with their grandson, and I feel like I am almost looking into the past 27 years ago when they were holding me in their arms and taking in the sweet moments of their parenthood.
 itsaboy2 gender reveal party
558474_521972704541847_1268800431_nthe day we decided to by our house  and us after Eli was born
famour new little family
dad and me my dad and me

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