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They say having a baby changes your life. Oh really? passing an entire human being through my body that is 100% dependent on me for food, shelter and love will change my life? Nooooo. Tell me more, Mr. Science. Although I have to admit that there are some things I truly didn’t expect. I always thought that the way my relationships changed after baby  was solely up to me.

For one, my husband and I lead a seemingly boring life anyway. We don’t party (we can’t even be around more than 8 people at a time without being overwhelmed), we go to bed at 9, our idea of having fun is staying home watching a movie, and when we have company over we like to just sit around doing nothing but talking for 4 hours. Yeah, you don’t want to be our friends if that isn’t your thing. Most people want to wait to have kids until they are done partying and are absolutely positive they can survive without going to a movie theater, So of course we thought “we got this”.
For two, I thought that if I was aware of myself as a new mom then my friendships didn’t have to change. I have been around mothers who talk about “joining the mommy club” like they’ve just been given the gold medal, mother’s who don’t know how to have a conversation that doesn’t involve their baby somehow, and mother’s who only want to surround themselves around other mothers. To them I say, “get over yourself”. So of course I was determined to be that cool new mother who didn’t act any differently around her non-parent friends. But nobody ever told me that it would take me 5 months to feel like a normal human again (I need to eat, sleep and poop too?), that it would take 5 months for me to feel like my baby wouldn’t burn to death if he was in the sun for 10 seconds, or that driving in a car could possibly be the most stressful time of my life.

I get it. You don’t have a baby or you haven’t had a baby in your life for 20 years. You, my friend, are a well-adjusted individual. Good for you.
Here’s where relationships start changing:
-You need me to leave my baby (who is solely dependent on me for food) on a one day’s notice. Did I mention my baby needs to eat every two hours? Not happening.
-You really really want my baby to meet your friend who happens to lives “just right outside the city”. With traffic, driving time alone could be an hour. Have YOU ever been in a car where your child has to be fastened in so tightly he can’t move, the air doesn’t reach the back seat, and oh have I mentioned he has to eat every two hours? Cue meltdown so bad he can’t breathe because he is crying too hard. Not happening.
-You want to go out to eat with us and have been dying to try that new sit down restaurant down the street. Baby doesn’t fit in the highchair and just try putting that car seat or stroller next to the table. Then keep him strapped in, bored out of his mind, while the big people sit around moving their hands to their mouth every few seconds (for what seems like forever).  And then try to get that busy server’s attention for the check so you can go. Meanwhile baby is in a phase where he likes to scream just to see how you react and oh, he just pooped all over himself.  And did I mention baby has to eat every two hours? Not happening.
-You want me to hang around “just a while longer” because “so and so” is almost here, or dinner is almost ready (though you’ve said that for an hour now), or because it’s just too early to leave to be socially acceptable. Have you ever tried leaving past sun down after keeping baby out all day? And then strapped him in a car seat when bedtime is just around the corner (for both of you because God knows YOU don’t sleep) oh and did I mention baby has to eat every two hours? Not happening.
So yeah, I don’t go anywhere without my baby without 3 days notice, or drive more than 30 minutes away, or go to sit down restaurants, or stay out past 7:30.
Are my husband and I happy? More than we have been in our entire lives. They don’t call them “bundles of joy” for nothing.
So if you find yourself in a situation where your really good friend is having a baby, be gracious. Expect some things to change. And if you truly are a good friend it won’t matter to either of you if one of you is in school, has a boyfriend, and lives with your parents while the other one is married, has kids, a house, and full-time job.
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It was a little over a year ago that we found out we were expecting. I remember looking at the pregnancy test, which was the millionth one I had taken, and staring at the two dashes that told me there was a baby growing inside me. Up until that point taking a pregnancy test always started out with this outrageous hope it would tell me some good news but it would always end with pure disappointment. Being pregnant was a dream I thought would never be reality.

 From being the size of a blueberry to a mini watermelon, the baby grew inside of me and I got to experience the ups and downs of growing a life. For someone who hates attention on her, I surprisingly loved every glance and turn of the head I received. I didn’t care if someone wanted to touch my belly or tell me how huge I looked. I loved every extra sample I got from costco (thanks baby!) and every cute maternity photo I got to take. It was bliss. Sure, the morning sickness wasn’t fun. I never thought I’d throw up on a plane, or yell at my husband to pull over in the middle of the road so I could expel the grape juice that had been so wonderful 30 minutes prior. I never expected I would hate meat or get to the point where I couldn’t see my toes. I certainly didn’t expect how hard it would be to slow down or let other people help me. What? move when you’re 9 months pregnant? Who would DO that!? Feeling the baby move inside me was UNreal and now I can hardly even remember it. The day we found out the baby’s gender felt like Christmas morning and learning it was a boy put us in shock. Walking out of the doctor’s office that day, my husband and I probably looked like we had seen a ghost. We planned for a girl, expected a girl, and knew her name. I remember seeing the ultrasound when the technician switched to the ‘gender reveal’ part and saying to her, “Is that a…is THAT A?!?!” And even though we didn’t expect it to be a boy we knew immediately what his name would be and we loved him for being a him. And everyone got to hear about how “my mother was right- AGAIN” (she told me she had a dream it was a boy and bought boy type things for him when I was only 10 weeks along). I took in every moment and took every chance I had to do what I had seen on pinterest. From a gender reveal party to that particular belly shot- I reveled in every moment.
We lived in our new house for a week when my water broke. The day before I had seen my midwife and she told me I was +2 which meant the baby was IN the birth canal. I called and texted my family telling them it could be any day now, even though I was only 38 weeks. That night my husband and I were just getting around to setting up the nursery and we hung up the baby’s clothes, assembled the crib (which we only JUST received a few days prior), and set up the changing table. I went to the bathroom and saw blood and my stomach dropped to the floor. Could this be it?! My husband and I joked that night that he shouldn’t even go into work the next day and he made me promise to call him the minute anything happened and I made him promise that when he received that call, he would drive SAFELY home (anyone else see that Grey’s Anatomy episode?!)
All this feels like forever ago and like yesterday all at once. Every day I get to see my boy grow and figure out this world just a little more. I look at him and I can not believe I am living my dream, and how blessed we are to have him in our lives. SO much has changed because this little bundle of joy was dropped in our laps- straight from heaven. I look at pictures and I can’t believe I was ever pregnant- it still feels like a dream.
The other day my dad sent me a text and said, “Every time I pass Eli’s picture on the fridge I rub his nose”. And it is a moment like that when I am even more grateful for this phase of life we are in. When I get to see how sweet my parents are with their grandson, and I feel like I am almost looking into the past 27 years ago when they were holding me in their arms and taking in the sweet moments of their parenthood.
 itsaboy2 gender reveal party
558474_521972704541847_1268800431_nthe day we decided to by our house  and us after Eli was born
famour new little family
dad and me my dad and me

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