Posts Tagged ‘baby’

It was a little over a year ago that we found out we were expecting. I remember looking at the pregnancy test, which was the millionth one I had taken, and staring at the two dashes that told me there was a baby growing inside me. Up until that point taking a pregnancy test always started out with this outrageous hope it would tell me some good news but it would always end with pure disappointment. Being pregnant was a dream I thought would never be reality.

 From being the size of a blueberry to a mini watermelon, the baby grew inside of me and I got to experience the ups and downs of growing a life. For someone who hates attention on her, I surprisingly loved every glance and turn of the head I received. I didn’t care if someone wanted to touch my belly or tell me how huge I looked. I loved every extra sample I got from costco (thanks baby!) and every cute maternity photo I got to take. It was bliss. Sure, the morning sickness wasn’t fun. I never thought I’d throw up on a plane, or yell at my husband to pull over in the middle of the road so I could expel the grape juice that had been so wonderful 30 minutes prior. I never expected I would hate meat or get to the point where I couldn’t see my toes. I certainly didn’t expect how hard it would be to slow down or let other people help me. What? move when you’re 9 months pregnant? Who would DO that!? Feeling the baby move inside me was UNreal and now I can hardly even remember it. The day we found out the baby’s gender felt like Christmas morning and learning it was a boy put us in shock. Walking out of the doctor’s office that day, my husband and I probably looked like we had seen a ghost. We planned for a girl, expected a girl, and knew her name. I remember seeing the ultrasound when the technician switched to the ‘gender reveal’ part and saying to her, “Is that a…is THAT A?!?!” And even though we didn’t expect it to be a boy we knew immediately what his name would be and we loved him for being a him. And everyone got to hear about how “my mother was right- AGAIN” (she told me she had a dream it was a boy and bought boy type things for him when I was only 10 weeks along). I took in every moment and took every chance I had to do what I had seen on pinterest. From a gender reveal party to that particular belly shot- I reveled in every moment.
We lived in our new house for a week when my water broke. The day before I had seen my midwife and she told me I was +2 which meant the baby was IN the birth canal. I called and texted my family telling them it could be any day now, even though I was only 38 weeks. That night my husband and I were just getting around to setting up the nursery and we hung up the baby’s clothes, assembled the crib (which we only JUST received a few days prior), and set up the changing table. I went to the bathroom and saw blood and my stomach dropped to the floor. Could this be it?! My husband and I joked that night that he shouldn’t even go into work the next day and he made me promise to call him the minute anything happened and I made him promise that when he received that call, he would drive SAFELY home (anyone else see that Grey’s Anatomy episode?!)
All this feels like forever ago and like yesterday all at once. Every day I get to see my boy grow and figure out this world just a little more. I look at him and I can not believe I am living my dream, and how blessed we are to have him in our lives. SO much has changed because this little bundle of joy was dropped in our laps- straight from heaven. I look at pictures and I can’t believe I was ever pregnant- it still feels like a dream.
The other day my dad sent me a text and said, “Every time I pass Eli’s picture on the fridge I rub his nose”. And it is a moment like that when I am even more grateful for this phase of life we are in. When I get to see how sweet my parents are with their grandson, and I feel like I am almost looking into the past 27 years ago when they were holding me in their arms and taking in the sweet moments of their parenthood.
 itsaboy2 gender reveal party
558474_521972704541847_1268800431_nthe day we decided to by our house  and us after Eli was born
famour new little family
dad and me my dad and me

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For seven years I have been limited to wearing black shoes, black pants, black polo, black sweatshirt, black undershirt, and the list goes on. For seven years Starbucks has been my life, essentially. It’s allowed me to pay my bills, eat, save, and it sustained me and my husband for the almost two years he was out of a job. Starbucks has simultaneously become my constant and the bane of my existence. I couldn’t wait to get out yet I relished in the comfort of the familiar, of something I’m good at (yes it’s possible to be bad at your job at Starbucks). The last eight months however, have brought me to a new place in life. For the last eight months I have been preparing to welcome a “little” into the world, A brand new “little” that we could call our very own. I knew the day would come when I had to decide “would I go back”. For a while I thought I would (I mean, what else am I good at!) and then for a while I thought I wouldn’t (get me out of here now!), and then we started the process of buying a house an hour away. Of course there are Starbucks stores everywhere, but I know I’m done transferring. So there it is, I’m just done. My plan was to wait until sometime late February, that would give me time to unpack everything in the new house “just in time” for baby.

Yesterday turned all my plans around.

I went in for a seemingly regular appointment and I walked out with an order for bed rest. We discovered the baby had already started entering the birth canal, I was having what I thought was Braxton hicks contractions for a few days but it turns out it was the little guy trying to enter the world. So today ended up being my last day at work and I’m officially ordered to rest for (well lets be honest) I have no idea how long.

So here I am trying to figure out what this new life is going to look like. I’m excited and I’m anxious and I’m a little bit disillusioned. Whatever it is that happens and however the timing works out, I’m excited to get rid of all my nasty black  Starbucks clothes and try something else on for a while.

starbucks uniform

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