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Archive for August, 2012

Sometimes, I picture my life with the same impending doom as “lemony snickets: the series of unfortunate events”. Sometimes I act like this is also the title of my life, “Ashley’s: the series of unfortunate events (to come)…”. Not that I would call myself pessimistic, necessarily, but when it comes to good things happening to me I always imagine something going terribly wrong soon after. I can not exactly pin point when this started or why, though I have ideas. But I know this is definitely a way for the enemy to grab hold of me and bring me down. My thoughts can get pretty morbid sometimes, whether it affects my body or someone I hold dearly to my heart. This is why I am thankful to be able to say that I have faith in a God who is strong and mighty and who is faithful. I am thankful that I can say “My hope is in the Lord, for He is able.” I don’t know what I would do without hope.

God is holy. He is sovereign. My minuscule fears and problems dont even measure up to His steadfast grace. No matter what happens I trust him. This comes to me after a difficult few weeks, a few weeks filled with deep sadness, intense anger, a lot of stress, and worry. I’m hardly going through very terrible circumstances, and I am reminded of this when I hear stories of loved ones going through real battles struggling with disease, heartache, and death. Yet I hold on to my faith. I hold on to the hand of my heavenly father, whose unconditional love I have yet to fully comprehend. I release any control I thought I had or want to have, and I release my desire to understand.

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