Archive for June, 2012

SO, I found this list I made in 2009. Its a whole bunch of random stuff about me. As I was reading through it though, I noticed that some of this stuff just wasn’t true anymore. I thought this was a really cool tangible way to see how much I have changed in the last three years.

  1. I am not funny, so don’t expect this to be.

this isnt true. I am actually really funny.

2. I am really glad there were directions on how to make a note, because I didn’t know how.

I don’t know what this means

3.I am 5% my own person. 95% my mother, father, and sisters.

This number has changed to 80% my own person

4. I do not believe there is anything such as a “hard life” every one has their struggles and pain and it is just as hard as anyone else’s.

5. I dis-like 85% of the people I know. The people I do like I would do anything for. If you are reading this you are most likely the %15

I probably dont know you.

6. I met my husband in 7th grade and I knew he was my husband in 10th grade.

7. I do not understand sarcasm. I try but I fail.

If you read number one, you would know I am funny. My humor now has sarcasm in it. yay!

8. I can and will defend any one else but myself. Thankful to be crossing this off the list, I am now gaining the ability to defend myself with a nice healthy balance of calm and angry.

9. I love to analyze.


10. I am extremely introverted. Being around people exhausts me and irritates me. Yes, I am still introverted but there is an extrovertedness that has come out in me and there are time people energize me. WHAT? I know, I never thought I’d say that.

11. When I journal I am the best person I can be. Well thats just sad, I am the best person I can be a lot of times.

12. I have hobby A.D.D. still true.

13. I was always sheltered. When I was in elementary my school sheltered me from the real world. When I was in high school my sisters sheltered me from pain. Now I know that those 2 things are the same thing.I was also sheltered from happiness, which is also a part of the real world!

14. When I talk about my sisters I just about cry because I love them so much.

15. I am and want to continue to be Kate Gosselin.

EW! who WAS I!?

16. I have a very addictive personality. I do not smoke or drink much because I know I will become an alcoholic smoker if I do.

17. By the way, I hate smoke. I get vicious when I smell it.

I have now learned i have sensory defensiveness and I have tools to manage this. though I still think its rude.

18. I never moved until I was 16 and since then I have moved almost 5 times.

Eight times.

19. I loved college because I loved learning. Consequentially, I have saved every single text book and plan on reading them again.

correction: plan on googling.

20. If you call me crazy I will hate you.

I will laugh at you.

21. If it is not sunny outside I will be crabby. If it is sunny outside I am giddy.Because of my love for the sun, my husband calls me a plant.

I must have had a serious case of SAD. Now that I live in a sunnier climate Im just hot.

22. I can count my close friends on one hand. And I like it that way.

23. All I ever think about is having kids.

24. The people that know me will either love me or hate me. And I know when they hate me. I have more enemies than I can count.

I can pretty much count them now.

25. I am, at the same time, a clean freak and a very messy person.Those who know me best know this, and they know I will be extremely offended if someone calls me messy.

I like to clean, I dont always do it.

26. I HATE napsand smoke.

*sigh* naps are an essential part of my life now.

27. I love to eat. And I’m always hungry.

28. When I see horses fall down, I get sad.

29. The only animals I will never eat are dolphins, horses, and dogs.

30. I must always always always be wearing fresh, brand new socks.

31. If I feel like I need to put lotion on (which happens 1000 times a day) I will clench my fists and not touch anything until I do.

sensory defensiveness explains this.

32. I am a rebel. And not the kind that society labels teenagers and motorcyclists. I will do as much as I possibly can to not do something someone expects of me or to do something someone doesn’t expect of me. When I was in 2nd grade I purposefully got detention because my teacher told me I would get detention if I didn’t read the assignment. So I read it but didn’t get it signed on purpose. I am like that to this day.

33. I have always and probably always will get bloody noses. The kind that pour for hours and hours. When I was little I just waited for it to stop. But now, thanks to my husband who suffers the same ailment, I pull the vein out and it only lasts for 20 minutes.

34. Still, I am deathly afraid of bloody noses and I will alter my life trying not to get them.

35. Speaking of fears, I have a fear of water. Not like showering or washing my hands, but when I am in a pool or standing near the ocean I am absolutely terrified.

I am working on this. and the ocean is beautiful and only terrifies me if im in too deep. actually, I really DO love water. I mostly have a strong fear when i am in deep water above my chest and there are other people around.

36. I love stuff like this because I like to write down who I am.Even if no one reads it.

I dont need to write it down anymore.

37. I still consider my first friend ever a friend. (hi alli) even though we never talk and are completely opposite.

38. Some of my favorite memories growing up include my dad. And even though he might not have thought this, I always considered myself a daddy’s girl.

39. My strongest love language is quality time.

its a cocktail mixed with quality time and verbal affirmation.

40. I haven’t thrown up since I was like 8. and for some reason now, I am afraid to do it. One day, maybe…

YES!! I’VE DONE THIS!! April 8, 2012.

41. I used to laugh a lot. Then one day I stopped. I still laugh, especially near my husband because he is the funniest person in the world, but still not like I used to.

was I just really sad in 2009 ? Oh I laugh. Oh HOW I laugh. My husband is still the funniest person in the world, though most of his jokes I say first….

42. Have I already mentioned that I feel haunted by my past?

another victory. I can now say I do not feel haunted by my past. as much.

43. I went 6 months without a tv and I loved it. Now I have 3 tvs, but they are mostly on when I clean and they are always on the same channel, TLC.

no cable. its netflix, i only have two tv’s, and i hate it when they are on. even when cleaning. pandora is the way to go! geesh, I was probably watching jon and kate plus 8. 

44. I really hate upsetting my husband. Probably because its really hard to do and I always know how to do it.

45. When I was little my parents and I had “cuddle time” before bed. One night my mother told me I was too big and too old and I refused to let that be so. Now its ok though because my husband loves to cuddle.

46. I LOVE my new last name.

47. I hate it when people that are English speaking speak in different languages to me. Don’t say “por que” or “ci” or whatever because I don’t understand.on the other hand, I have really enjoyed hearing my multilingual friends speak different languages. its those half-assed english mixes that annoy me. “i want agua”

48. I love to organize and I feel that I don’t have enough of it ever, and I am always throwing away garbage bags full of my stuff and I never seem to make a dent.sadly, still true.

49. I have too much stuff. I fully believe “nothing in excess”

ive gotta get on reading “7”

50. If I’m not 30 minutes early I’m late.

same goes with you, mister!

51. I am always cold.Consequentially I own 1 million sweaters and blankets.

im hot a LOT

52. When I get a bill in the mail I pay it that day.

53. It really bothers me if this list isn’t going to be an even number.

right now i have only one tail light working….the HORROR

54. I owe a lot to my dad. I don’t think he knows I feel this way, but he has really done a lot for me.so has my mom. Every time I talk with them they share so much wisdom.

55. I hate having mentors. I had two in high school that I cant help but love when I look back at them, but otherwise I hate having mentors.

So i was sad AND prideful. mentor away!

56. Before 10am I’ve gone to the bathroom at least 10 times.

not a problem any more since ive stopped eating dairy…..

57. My initials used to be “ark” and I loved it. Now its “ars” and I love it even more.

58. I hate it when people try to analyze me or tell me how I’m feeling. 99%of the time they are wrong.


59. I’m extremely nostalgic.

60. Normally when I get the hiccups, they dont go away for at least a day.

61. I am obsessed with anything birds, owls, or trees.

AND to add to the list…..

62. My husband and I are almost 100% debt free, which feels really good and we are committed to never having debt again. Yes, this means no credit cards and no loans/financing.

63. When I made this list three years ago I could have said I have never moved out of the state, now I have lived in 3 states.

64. I love having animals in the house. When I say animalS I really do mean a LOT. I have owned snakes, lizards, birds, frogs, fish, and dogs and one day I aspire to own a really big white rabbit.

65. I love the number 3.


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I don’t want fear to hold me back from the exciting and enjoyable things in life, and I certainly don’t want fear to trap me in a place that might actually be harmful for me. So many of us do this, especially the latter. Whether it be a relationship, a job, or a living situation many of us allow ourselves to be trapped in a harmful little bubble because we are afraid of what’s outside the bubble. The bubbles we create for ourselves might keep some harmful things from getting to us (pleasant things as well) but it also keeps those harmful things inside with us. People talk about learning from our mistakes, I’ve said that very same thing, but i wonder if a choice really can be a mistake? Mistake might be the wrong word. There are choices that are better than others and choices that create a negative or positive ripple in the pool of life, but calling a choice a mistake is contradictory. I think we might keep ourselves in our bubbles for fear of making a mistake, so we get all cozy and complacent doing what we are used to doing. But that’s a cop out. We have been given the ability to make choices for a reason. We need to own up to our responsibility to make a choice. No more saying we won’t do something because it might be the wrong thing to do, or might not “be what God wants us to do”. Because there are many paths to take, opportunities are in front of us all the time. Some of them we ignore and some of them we take, but we don’t need to be trapped. Obviously with prayer, deliberation, and responsibility we can gain wisdom and make the better choice. But there is also something to not letting anything hold us back and not making excuses just because we might be scared for how it will affect our present or our future.

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