Archive for April, 2012

I seem to be caught in this web of thought that everyone around me is constantly thinking about my age. This is probably because it seems that everyone IS always thinking about age, especially age differences. Too often I hear the statements, “You are only <insert age here>!?” , “Wow, you are so young”, “I remember way back when I was that age”. And after any of those statements, you can go ahead and add something like “I cant believe you are already married” or “don’t worry about not having kids yet, you have time“.  This happens even when someone is only a few years older than myself. Age thought like this has always driven me nuts.

There seems to be this train of thought that everyone seems to jump on that, “Seventeen year olds are like this, and you should wait to get married until you are this old, you shouldn’t have kids until you’ve been married for 6 years and you are this old, you should go to college right out of high school, you should be a homeowner by the time you are this age, you should have a career by the time you are this age, you should retire from that career at this age, you should be a grandparent by the time you are this old, and then you will typically die at this age.”

Honestly, this feels like a LOT of pressure.

Look, we all get it. You feel old, like life is just passing you by and you have so much wisdom to bestow upon the world and if only you knew then what you know now and you can just look back at who you used to be and see how immature you were and you have gone through so much in life to get you to where you are now and blah blah blah.

Since I can remember I have had this sense of disgust when someone called me young or stuck that “stereotype stamp” on me.

But yesterday during my pastor, Jared’s message something in me changed about this. To be “young” is to be like a child complete with humility, innocence, trust, wonder, and faith. So how is that bad? Maybe instead of cringing at a statement of my youth I should respond with a “thank you”. To be like a child is how God wants us to be. I have it backwards in thinking you spend your whole life trying to grow up. Really, we should be spending our lives fighting against it. It is in being “grown up” that we become bitter and harsh and distrusting.

Next time someone calls me “young” I will look past my belief in what they really mean by it and I will take it as a compliment.


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I had a nice surprise waiting for me when I walked outside this morning, someone had thrown away a perfectly adorable bench.

It would have been so wrong of me to just let that bench travel with objects actually considered garbage. I wrestled a little with the thought of keeping it because it might be a little uncomfortable when my neighbors see it sitting somewhere on my balcony, or wherever I decided to put it. But alas, I just couldn’t let it die.

I brought it inside, grabbed my paint, and within an hour I had this  beauty…

and a little closer view of my favorite part…

If you notice that behind the bench sits my inspiration, a fossil box that I saved and display as decoration because I thought it was absolutely adorable.

See, perception is everything.

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I’m happy to have the opportunity to see how far I’ve come as a person. Whats bothered me in the past doesn’t bother me nearly as much now. To have the chance to not let someone or something ruin my day is always a challenge for me. Today I can say I’m proud of myself. I know who I am and I know the parts I am ok with and the parts I’m not. If Someone is giving me an unwarranted opinion of who they think I am, that is when the feathers appear and their words roll down my back as if they were water on a duck. They say that true “revenge” is to simply live well. And oh, how true that is. I will continue to live well as best I can. I can not say I always have known how to do this. It has taken my entire life and a countless amount of opposition to understand that the best I can do in life is let my savior mold me. To understand that it only matters what He thinks. To truly understand that I will have people out there who cant stand me and don’t understand me and who, for no reason at all, just don’t like me. It’s ok. I will continue to be honest and genuine and patient and understanding to the best of my ability and when I don’t have any left then I will ask for more. You can take it or leave it.

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Remember, you never know who you are affecting by what you say. You can have a positive or a negative impact on somebody and not even know it. Even the most innocent of statements can bring to the surface something painful in somebody. So just be thoughtful of every word that passes through your lips. Think before you speak.

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I’ve always thought it was interesting that the day Jesus was crucified is called “good Friday”. Because we know the outcome of what happens, we know that the significance means that it is a good day. But this day specifically is a dark day. We remember how Jesus was tormented, we remember our sins, and we remember how Jesus felt forsaken by His father. We remember the feelings that mary and the disciples felt. Each one of the disciples had something different going on, judas knew he had been responsible for what happened, Peter had just denied that he knew Jesus, others still doubted.They had to watch their friend and teacher be tortured and then die. And then everything was dark. 

Ultimately today signifies that we, as sinners, are free and forgiven. It signifies that whether you feel like it or not, somebody loves you more than you could ever understand. And it signifies that our lives are made new through the power of His blood. 

So yea, today just happens to be good. Sorrowful, free, and full of immeasurable love.

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Down and broken.

Sometimes when we are down and broken and we find ourselves on our knees, that is the best place for us to be. The world looks different, we look different. If you find yourself in that place today whether you got there by being kicked down, fallen, tripped, or just tired because standing at all seems impossible – then don’t be afraid to look around you. Don’t be afraid to be in that place. Some of our best revelations happen when we are on the ground broken and can’t see a way out. So take courage and have hope, there is always hope.

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