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Archive for March, 2012

Today I was reminded of how very much of an impact we can have with our actions and our words. I was feeling a migraine coming on, my hands started shaking, and I let someone’s bad attitude and insensitive comment start to bring me down. It was then that a sweet friend walked in with a box of cookies and offered me one. As I took the cookie I felt like tears were about to fall and I remembered the goodness in life, the goodness in kindness, and the goodness in a small act.
One simple act of kindness and something that most people do on a regular basis, baking cookies, can turn an attitude from bad to good. It can turn a day that is about to go downhill the other way around.

A simple cookie can nourish more than just low blood sugar, it can nourish the soul.

So thank you friend, you don’t know how much I needed that.
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Our beliefs, our biases, our attitude towards religion, what we do and do not believe  is influenced greatly by the people in our lives. 


I have so much bitterness about certain beliefs because in my upbringing I was around people who abused their religion, who took words out of the bible and created their own meaning, who spoke one thing but lived a life that is worthy of nothing but disgust. I was around very few people who were full of substance and lived lives that were raw and transparent. I suggest that I am not the only one out there with experiences such as these, that I am one out of many who struggle with ideologies from their past, who fight inward battles with beliefs that contradict each other. 
How sad. Words are so futile compared to our actions. What if we all lived lives that allowed questions without judgement, truth without fear, emotion unguarded. I weep for those who can not get past the hurt caused by the ones who were supposed to be wise, who were supposed to teach truth, who were supposed to love you without limitations. Children are fragile and impressionable and see beyond the lies that adults seem to hide so well with each other. Act with reason, live with intent, and step out of your self-centered world. I guarantee you will find a world out there who feels emotion just like you, that the world will still exist after you have walked alongside somebody who doesn’t believe the same thing you do, that time will still move forward if you ask a tough question. You will find a world who just wants to be accepted and loved for who they are in that moment. 

Religion is everywhere. Religion is action based on belief, even the absence of belief is belief. We can’t get around the thousands of ideologies thrown at us on a daily basis. But we can stop being so afraid of them. Be free to discover, to feel, to believe what you wish; and mostly I urge you to allow others that same gift.

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The last couple months I’ve ignored writing. Some days I avoided it even when words were there. I am finding it difficult even now as I write this.  The reason im having such a hard time putting my thoughts down on paper is because i have thoughts I’m too afraid to make real. The desert of the real is an uncomfortable and lonely place to be.

 So what do you do when you are in the desert of the real. What if reality is too much, too frightening.  My answer the last couple of months is to avoid the questions and answers that I have had in this place. Well now they have made there way to the surface whether I wanted them to or not and I wish I had made it easier on myself and the others around me. Instead I had to get them the hard way. I’m so consumed and overwhelmed with the thought of these fears despite how hard I try to ignore them. So I’m angry, I’m sad, and the stupid problems in life seem even bigger. The last thing I want to do is to ignore reality, and the only thing keeping me here is the exact thing I’m avoiding. Facing these fears, asking these questions, and learning how to cope with the answers has to be the next step.

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